HOT PURSUIT
It’s funny how sometimes in life you don’t really know what you have until it’s gone.
For me, gone but certainly not forgotten.
My father died in October 2023, and this past Sunday was my second Father’s Day without him. While I’m not sure you ever adjust to the loss of a loved one, it provides a chance to reflect and remember.
Luckily, I took many opportunities to let my dad know when he was alive how much he meant to me and how he influenced my life. Of course, there is always more that I wished I had done.
Sadly, many don’t take the opportunity at all to let their fathers (or mothers) know how important they are.
Mowing lawn for hours after hours every week on the place that my dad called home for most of his 89 years provides me with the opportunity to think back on all the life lessons I learned while growing up. Every week I’m reminded of celebrations, triumphs, failures, disappointments, heartaches, fun moments and hard work that took place on the farm during my childhood. But mostly it was a time of positive experiences that have helped make me who I am.
Being a single parent for many years, the path with fatherhood for my children certainly looked very different than when I grew up. But I’ve always found that I have the strong foundation I had to draw upon came because of my upbringing—a credit to both dad and mom.
My life has been far from perfect, but I can honestly say that being a strong father has always been one of my top priorities amid chaos at times. I always remember back thinking to myself, “Children who grow up in a household with only one biological parent are worse off.” And there is certainly enough research out there making this point clear. That became motivation enough for me to focus even greater on fatherhood to benefit the well-being of my kids.
Despite the tribulations my family has faced over the years, I think they have overcome the difficulties to lead strong lives. I’m hoping that will become even more noticeable once they start their own families.
In church on Sunday, I was reminded not only how important fathers are in our lives, but how Christian fathers play a significant role in shaping us into the person we become. I have been blessed in my lifetime to have such a father.
If you have a father still in your life, I hope you take the time to realize how a father’s value is tremendous. It’s important for everyone to help fathers realize the important contributions they can make.
Research shows that when fathers are involved, their children are two times more likely to go to college, 80% less likely to spend time in jail and 75% less likely to experience teen pregnancy.
When a dad isn’t there, it’s a different picture. Children in father-absent homes account for 71% of all high school dropouts, 90% of homeless and runaway children and 63% of youth suicides.
Becoming an engaged dad has benefits for fathers, too. Engaged dads set goals and achieve greater success. Healthy habits become more important, and self-esteem increases as dads see their value.
Nailing the craft of fatherhood is not an exact science. There are many variables and factors that often get in the way and can quickly make things go awry. In my case, divorce has been one of the biggest barriers in the relationship with my children.
I hope you had positive experiences with your father throughout your life however that looked. And if he’s still alive, please go in hot pursuit to let him know how much he means to you.