Howard belongs in bubble wrap

"Howard, what are you going to break next?"
That is an honest question posed by a good friend of mine, Billy Noble of Blooming Prairie.
Fighting his own health issues, Billy still has concerns for others and their challenges. Hearing of my GREAT FALL (on Dec. 9), Billy called me to share his concern and tried to lighten the injury by making light of it.
Thanks for your concern, Billy and others in the Blooming Prairie area who hear of my most recent dilemma.
It happened on the night of Wednesday, Dec. 9, 2020. Judy and I had driven to Hastings to have a window visit at a rehabilitation center with my brother-in-law.
Following the visit, Judy and I motored to Cottage Grove to stop at an Aldi's store for an errand. After completing that chore, we stopped at a Holiday gas station to add gas. I inserted the hose into the car and then heard a microphoned voice say, "Pay at the pump or in the store."
Somewhat irritated, I decided to go inside and with the gas hose dangling from the pump to my car, I decided to be an Olympic hurdler and jump over the gas hose.
I didn't make it. I plummeted downward and onto my shoulder. I also felt like something had been severed from my body. I looked at my right foot and saw it pointing to the right at a 45-degree angle.
Yelling some concern, Judy convinced a young man and a young woman, not traveling together, to raise me up and place me into the car. What do we do next? We find a hospital. Our solution would be Owatonna, about 75 miles away.
Judy took the controls of our Impala and headed south. Trying to gorget about the pain, I telephoned our granddaughter Kaley in Arizona. She was my pain medicine as I talked to her and listened to her encouraging and concerned words.
Fast forward to the Owatonna Hospital. We made it and were greeted by Rick Ellingson, a part-time police officer (Blooming Prairie) and ambulance guy. He placed me in a wheel chair and wheeled me into the hospital. I was then quickly brought into an exam room.
Upon seeing me and my obvious broken ankle, the Emergency Room doctor reprimanded me and asked why we didn't call an ambulance.  He then proceeded to assess the situation. You will need surgery, the ER doctor promised.
A decision was nearly made to transport me to Rochester. The decision was then made to put me in a splint and do surgery the next day. I broke the ankle in three places.
To summarize, I was admitted to the hospital and scheduled for surgery on a Thursday. I also have a possible torn rotator cuff and will learn that fate later this week.
The surgery was successful and it was recommended I go to a rehab center. I chose KODA and was there for 10 days. It was my goal to return home before Christmas. I made that goal with my brother-in-law Darrell Hansen picking me up on Christmas Eve day and bringing me home. Thanks Darrell.
Other reasons for achieving that goal were because of the wonderful therapy received at KODA and because of the efforts of a friend, Carol Prokopec, to secure a "knee walker" to use for getting from Point A to Point B.
I am recovering at home now and it will be a long process.
It's embarrassing to think how stupid I was to try to fly over a gas hose. Don't ever try to do it.
It was an accident and friends all say it could have been much worse. That's true but WORSE seems to be a comforting word.
I've broken body parts in the past (two wrists, two feet, arm). I'm done. That's my answer to Billy.
Let's hope 2021 will be Howard's safest year ever. Thanks for your comforting words.
Judy has an answer to my problems. "I think we will put you in bubble wrap," she says.