OUTSIDE PERSPECTIVES

When we were kids, making friends was pretty simple.  

In younger grades, it was usually the people you played tag or (and yes, this is the correct way to say it, Minnesotans) “duck, duck, goose.”

When I got to high school it was generally people I was on sports teams with or people I met along the way. 

College was pretty similar, but as we get to official “adulthood,” it becomes a little more difficult. People are extremely busy, and as humans, we can become self-absorbed in what we are doing, and it’s hard to let others into our lives. 

But sometimes, it’s as simple as just meeting people. 

On Saturday, members of our kickball team had a small gathering around the fire. As a side note, is it normal to cook hotdogs over the fire even in urban areas? Is this a Minnesota thing? I was confused when we got there, and none of them were cooked. Maybe they were eating them straight from the package, I thought. I saw later on people were, in fact, cooking them over the fire.

Anyways, a lot of people from the team couldn’t make it, so the two sisters hosting the gathering invited a couple of friends. One of our teammates brought their friend as well.

This was nice, being around like-minded people who weren’t like-minded only because we do the same type of work or play the same sports. 

By the end of it, we all became friends. We learned our kickball teammates are actually just a couple miles down the road from us, and our nine-year-old dog, Finn, got along great running around for hours with their two-year-old dogs, so they will have future play dates. 

As someone who is not from here, my advice is to just talk to people and introduce yourself – you never know who you may meet.

This is completely true to me. When I first moved to St. James, Minn., after college, I obviously didn’t know anyone. 

I remember one of the first weekends living in town, I was at the bar – of course, the American Legion – minding my business, when a person named Lindsey came up to me and asked if I was the new reporter in town. 

I was taken aback, but we chatted and, over time, became friends. I met her roommate, and eventually, the two of them convinced me to adopt my dog, Finn. I was a stranger from Rhode Island. They had been best buddies since elementary school. But they allowed me to be part of their lives. 

My landlord when I first moved to Minnesota didn’t allow pets, so Kelly (one of my new-found friends in Minnesota) arranged for Finn and I to move into her sister’s basement – a bedroom, storage area, and bathroom and shared kitchen upstairs. What else could a 22-year-old bachelor need? 

I then became friends with Mike, Lindsey’s boyfriend, and his brother, Nick. Their home was always a place to hangout and play darts in the winter, because like all good Minnesotans, they had their own dart machine. In the summer, we sat outside and watched the dogs run around. 

Their home was also the vacation home for Finn when I would go away for Christmas or summer vacation. 

They are still my dear friends even though I moved away all those years ago. 

Mike unfortunately passed away a year ago, but I still think of him often. That’s what friendship is.

Take a chance on friendships. I did and don’t regret it at all!